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December 2003 Archives

December 1, 2003


I need some spam software. Not for me. For work. I finally got the evaluation copy of a mail list manager to work, and realized that it although it may do what it does very well, it won't work as well for me at work as I want it. I just want something simple that will pull certain names out of a database and send them an email. And then tell me the ones that bounce. and keep a record of what was sent to whom and when. and handle automated responses. and automatic birthday sendouts. and give me pretty reports. Is that so much? I dont think it's to much, really. And this software can do that, just not as well as I want.

OMG it's december. The rate at which a year goes by seems to increase exponentially as you age. The first few years seem to take about eighty years to go by, but these last few have just flown. My daughter is 9 freakin years old! Which means I've known Ryan for almost a decade. Long live Rapahannak, eh?

About another hour of work, then off to the casa. Maybe a stop by Oshman's for new raquetballs, since the one we have been using the past couple weeks is fairly old, and has a tendency to bounce funny sometimes. I can not unleash the full fury of my raquetball-fu with a badly bouncing ball.

In other news, Christmas shopping suxx0rs.

Life is sexually transmitted

Played some raquetball, ate some dinner, and added someone else's blog to the sidebar. Amy has been bitching that she's not getting enough blog-love, so there ya go.

December 2, 2003

I am spiderman

I should be spiderman anyway. A spider bit me twice this morning on the leg, and Im just waiting for the superhuman powers to kick in. Expect to see me on the news slinging webs very soon...

Worked out a little tonight. Some weights and elliptical stuff. Then a few minutes of raquetball to end it all. I like raquetball, I think I get a decent workout from it, but I'm not sure I do it enough. I think come January, I may try to double the amount of time I forcefully expend energy. Maybe lift a few more weights. Or lift a few weights more times.

My leg itches from the spider-bite, and there is some puss, but otherwise, it's not to bad. I can ignore the itching. Or at least, I can not scratch long enough to type.

I need more color here. I think I'll add some soon. Maybe more links. Astronomy pic of the day would be good. Maybe sports and big XII on once side, and science stuff on the other. And more random crap in the middle.

My daughter has found this place, so I will have to be a little aware of what I put in it for a while. A couple weeks until she stops coming to it. Then back to the porn.

In other news, (this ones for you Amy), I added two new Friendster Friends today, which is two more than I've added in a long time. Since Meegan I think, and my network stands at roughly 1.2 M from 15 friends. Speaking of Meegan, when is your new blog going to be up?

December 3, 2003

Don't push the button that says 'dont push'

Or, don't mess with things you don't understand. Or some other proper turn of phrase that would be appropriate when you do something that not only erases everything in your email inbox, but actually makes sure that anything new that comes in, is also erased.

That's what Ive done. Futzed around with another program that erased everything in my inbox, and then, while I watched, after sending myself messagse so my inbox would not be so empty, it deleted all the new stuff.

If you sent me email today, i may have deleted it. To a more or less unrecovereable degree. I'll update when Ive got it fixed. This only pertains if it was sent to me at work. Since that the one that I've futzed up.

Okay, 3:20 update. About 2 hours later, and Ive fixed it. I can retain email again. Wooga. God damned POP server can lick my nutz...

December 4, 2003

Tequila Cat in the Hat

From Ninsianna...

What happens when you have:
1) nothing to do
2) a sharp knife
3) a large lime
4) a patient cat
5) and too much tequila?

You get this...

In other news: Will descendants of these hard drives be able to seek federal reparations for the sins of the manufacturers? Give me a bloody break... "Master" and "slave" labels unacceptable - CNN

I want one.

I want one of these.
Or a whole little family of them would be find.

California blocks sale of genetically engineered Glofish

December 5, 2003

The Tard Blog

Ninsianna is out of town for the weekend. It just isn't quite the same waking up next to this instead of this.

D'oh, wait, I meant instead of this.

In other news, just so you know I didnt make it up, here's the Tard Blog. (which I actually got from Jesse's site)

December 6, 2003

Mmm mmm good

You just can't beat a large burger made with beef and sausage covered in chili. There is only one Ron's Hamburgers in the Dallas area, and we ate there tonight. Everyone should eat there. It's better than Cats. Remember though, they close at 8:30.

We also saw Bad Santa. One of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time. Go see it. You'll laugh, cry, then wet your pants.

The smell of football

Today is the Big XII title match. OU vs Kansas State in Kansas City. Practically a home game for K-State. And it will be really really cold. OU is favored by 2 touchdowns. OU has tied Notre Dame now for the most weeks ranked at number 1. With a win this weekend, they will have 96, and pass ND as the team ranked number 1 more than any other. 3rd on the list is Ohio State at 73. I think we're going to watch the game at 1st and 10 tonight, though that's not a certainty yet. Maybe go at halftime. The rest of the day will be spent goofing around. Maybe putting up a Christmas tree.

Made some more sanity changes to the HTML so things look better to me in the code, but nothing much noticable externally.

In other news, were it not for the tree that killed him fourteen years ago, my grandfather would be 83 today.


Im just to upset to discuss.

December 7, 2003

Sugar time

Even with the loss to K-State, OU remains the number one ranked team in the BCS and will now head to New Orleans to play against LSU for the national championship in the Sugar Bowl. I'm still pissed about the game last night. The Sooners played like they just did not even care.

On the bright side, Ninsi will be back in about an hour. :)

December 8, 2003

The Tallest Midget

There is a great deal of discussion today about the BCS and it's failings. When you have three college football teams with one loss each, one of them is going to get the shaft. This year, it is USC. Though, in truth, if USC wins their Rose Bowl game against Michigan State, they will get a split of the National Title with the winner of the Sugar Bowl, so they can only complain so much. The whole situation moves us a half-step closer to a collegiate playoff system which would involve 4-8 teams, and might actually solve a lot of the current problems.

BCS supporters would argue at this point, that under the old system, we would be in an even worse situation. USC would still be playing in the Rose Bowl, LSU would be playing in the Sugar Bowl, and OU would probably be in either the Fiesta, or Orange Bowl. Then we would have the possibility of three one loss teams at the end of the season instead of just two.

I am one that thinks the BCS is slightly better than the old system. It is at this point that we have to involve the Tallest Midget Theorem. A solution which is only marginally better than the previous one, isn't really much of a solution, is it? It's something I heard on the 'Mike & Mike' show this morning, and it seemed very apropo.

In other news, something seems to be wrong in the plumbing at the house. There's a constant sound of running water from the bathroom, and the bathroom floors are slightly warm. Ryan is at home today waiting on a plumber, so I'm sure we'll get a full update on Channel-zero later.

December 9, 2003

Maybe I do smell

I told my boss that I wouldn't be able to take a shower this morning since the plumbers are still trying to find and fix the leaking pipe. He told me to just stay at home til I could shower. Woot. Technically, I think I'm 'working from home', but in reality I'm reading Caves of Steel. I picked up four of Asimov's robot novels last night for a cumulative $8, and am reading them now.

I'll not get a whole lot less done here at home than I would have at work. I think if I worked from home everyday, I'd get more done. At least then I would be trying to prove that working from home wasn't a hindrance. But someone has to be in the office in the mornings, and that someone is me. I try to get there around 8:30, and usually one of my co-workers shows up by about 10:30 or so.

In other news, I think we have decided to have a Christmas party this Saturday the 13th. If anyone outside of the usual reads this, send an email to myself, ryan, or tracy for details.

December 10, 2003

Slowly I turned, step by step...

The spectre of Christmas doth approacheth. I'm running low on time. I dont care to much though. I've not bought many gifts, but I have ideas of what I will be getting those who are getting anything, so I figure I can actually complete my shopping with a mall trip lasting about eight minutes. I like getting gifts for children. Young children. They are easy. Something noisy, something colorful, something that marks on mom's walls... As they get older though, it becomes almost as much a chore as buying for my brothers. My daughter wants clothes, pictures, and art supplies. I just don't feel right getting her nothing but clothes. She's only nine. It's okay though, I know what I'm getting her, I just can't say here, because she might actually read it.

I have bigger difficulties buying for my girlfriend. I have gotten her what I believe to be nice gifts that she will like. But it's really impossible to say. As I tried to explain to her one day about the problem I have buying stuff for others: Once I actually decide what to get, it's still a Herculean task because I tend to project my own standards of what the quality/style/functionality/etc should be. I have high standards on some things, and absolutely none on others. So my eternal fear, is that I get what I believe to be a really nice thing for someone, and it becomes a 'lovely parting gift', ala the Gong Show.

The bare concrete may not be aestetically pleasing, but at least we can poop in the house again. The plumbers were putting the toilets back on today. Hopefully that endeavor went smoothly. Click the big Channel-Zero icon for details.

In other news: Dan Reeves, one of the best pro football coaches ever, was fired this morning by the Atlanta Falcons. Tis truly the season.

My turd-ass

Okay, so I just finished watching 'Confessions of a Dangerous Mind' and finished reading 'The Naked Sun' about the same time, when I wander back to my bedroom and notice much to my glee that I have a voicemail! Who ever could it be??? With great anticipation I punch the numbers and am rewarded with a twenty-two second outburst that leaves me mucho confused. I have transcribed it verbatim as follows:

"Okay you little turd, I'm comming out there December the 24th.
Gonna land at two something. I'll have your little turd-ass whipped by 4 o'clock.
You better call me! Answer the phone! heh heh heh heh heh..."

My first thought was that it was my biological father with whom I have had zero contact in over 7 years. The last time we spoke over the phone, we basically argued. I'm fairly sure that it was not him, nor any member of my family. Judging from the accent though, I'd be willing to bet that the leaver of the message is a Nascar fan. And possibly drunk to boot. (yes, i know, drunk nascar fan is redundant).

Time of message, 9:17 pm. Reverse lookup on the number returned nothing, so I dont even know from what state my turd-ass is going to be receiving its whipping. It was a 256 area code though. If I hear anything from this admirer again, I'll be sure to let everyone know.


December 11, 2003

Back now

Apparently my webhoster lost power to an entire rack of servers early this morning, so my site and Ninsianna's were both down for way to long a time. I'm still annoyed by the whole thing, mainly the lack of feedback I got from my webhost while the problem was occuring.

Think Big, then think small

I like this link so much, it gets to be a permanent addition to the sidebar...
Powers of 10

December 12, 2003

Call before you dig

Im at work this morning, around 10 o'clock, typing up a blog entry, when I suddenly lose total internet connectivity. Turns out we also lost all external phone connectivity. We're not totally sure what happened, but Im thinking that maybe one of the guys driving a backhoe about two blocks over, where they are doing street construction, sent that backhoe right through a fiber cable or something. I came home after lunch, since I can actually get more done from home now.

The blog entry that I was working on is now totally gone. It was a piece of great sociological and philosophical import. Alas.

You know, that guy, that wrote that book...

God bless my girlfriend. She's totally faboo 99.9% of the time, but every now and again, that generational gap thing rears it's ugly head... Last night, we're all in a bookstore, and Ryan and I are discussing Robert Lyn Aspirin, author of the 'Myth Adventure' comic series of books, and apparently a fine swordsman. Tracy overheard the conversation and said, "Oh, he's the guy that wrote your robot books!" Referring of course to Isacc Asimov (which I am currently re-reading). Yes, she's cool like the other side of the pillow that way. God bless her. :)

Not to say that I'm necessarily much better. I do occassionally run into walls, and when I got out of the car after lunch the other day, I accidently hit the panic button instead of the door-lock button on the remote. I blame it on wearing gloves. Instead of managing to immediately silence the alarm, I locked, then unlocked all the doors, turned the alarm off, and on again, and finally popped the trunk before I was able to hit the proper button. i.e., the Big Red one.

In other news, my roommate Ryan, is apparently a porn star.

December 14, 2003

End of week

It's the end of the weekend again. Just finished watching the second part of Battlestar Galactica. If they would turn it into a full-blown series again, I'd probably watch it. But that might turn out to be to much TV for me, so I don't know.

Im pretty much finished with all the shopping for the Christmas holiday now. Tracy and I went to Fry's yesterday to take care of most of it. It was a pretty standard trip to Fry's. Lots of guys looking at electronics. We did see one thing that was pretty interesting though. It was the 3D Book of Life, or something like that. It was a book about how babies get made. And it was a pop-up. The first thing you see when you open the book is an upside down baby in a uterus. Not what I was expecting. You turn the pages, and you get to the male reproductive system. Remember, it's a pop-up. No, the penis didn't pop straight up like that, you actually got a cross section of the whole nether-region area though. The penis itself was cross-sections, so it was really more disturbing than anything else.

The next page, of course, was a cross-section of the female reproductive system. Fallopian tubes, uterus, etc. The best part of this one, was that it had a little pull-tab. And you could pull the tab to watch the egg as it traveled down the tube to implant itself in the wall of the uterus. Quality. The rest was more pop-up babies in various stages of development within the womb. All upside down as if they were ready to slide on out. Everyone go out and buy it.

We then trekked to another Fry's to try to get an item teh first Fry's was out of, and finally, after way to many hours, headed home. For those that are not aware, my roommate, Ryan Moore, is apparently a porn star of bondage flicks. We thought it would be a great gift idea to find one of his movies and give it to him. So we stopped at New Fine Arts. The clerks there were unable to look up movies by star name, but they were able to point us straight to the bondage section. We quickly found Sting of the Whip, starring Ryan Moore, and rather than pay the $40 for a dubious bondage flick, we rented it for the evening. We presented it later that evening along with other minor gift exchanges after some friends had arrived. Im soooo glad we didnt buy it, too. The movie sucked. Maybe you just have to really be into bondage, but it was just bad all around. There was no sex in it at all. For a porno, it gets two cross-sectioned pop-up penises down.

Today was spent getting some small stuff at Target, and then Tracy and I sat in front of the TV wrapping stuff and watching the second half of 'The Two Towers' in preparation for the premiere of 'Return of the King' later this week.

In other news, they've apparently captures Saddam Hussein. Huzzah.

December 15, 2003


Nothing much new today. Found a site I kinda like, Wikipedia. Reading some of the entries on math will make your head hurt a little though if you're not prepared for it.

After that, while researching possible google hacks, I found the term, 'googlewhack'. They even have a site: www.googlewhack.com. A googlewhack is basically a two word phrase that is not within quotes, and contains no proper or made-up names, and returns exactly one result from a Google search. I introduced it to Ninsianna, and she didnt stop whacking til she got one - sororicide conglomerate.

This evening, I checked the stats for Notival, and found that I had 77 unique hits from Primussucks.com. This confused me for a while, until I finally found a post that actually linked to my site. Some liked the picture I got from Tracy about the cat in the lime football hat, and linked it on the message board. Traffic soared. Yay me. If you don't remember the pic, here's the post again.

In other news, while on the topic of Google, you can now you the google toolbar to help solve scientific problems. I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader to find more info for 'google compute'.

December 16, 2003


It's my prediction that within 72 hours, nearly 80% of the worlds blogs will in some way or the other reference, or refer to the Lord of the Rings. Specifically, though this part of the prediction is less accurate, 'The Return of the King', will be mentioned. That's my prediction, heed my words.

December 17, 2003


Im at a loss for words. Not due to any circumstances or events, but rather because I haven't a lot to say. I'm ready for the work day to be done though, so that I can get to the theater to watch the mooveee this evening.

I've had 31 unique hits from the Netherlands this month. I dont know anyone from there, but I wouldn't mind getting to know some hot Dutch girls. If you know any, or are one yourself, drop me a line.

In other news, somone stole the Grinch.

Im getting famous!

Everyone googles themself eventually. Some precious few are blessed to have quite unique names (such as bunny) and don't have to fight for Google recognition. The rest of us, like myself (Phlome) are preceded in Google by athletes, authors, professors, and in the case of Zero, by porn stars. However, by working through the system, and getting a few well placed links created, one can slowly work up the Google-chain. I found myself today at the bottom of page 23 of a Google search for myself. That's dozens of pages higher than I used to be. I used to be so deep I couldn't be found. Now I have a baseline, and can track my progress maybe. My hope is to someday make it into the top 5 or so Google pages. I dont think I'll be able to oust the baseball player and table tennis pro from their perches, but I can sure as hell make a move to the top of the lame-ass rest of us.

In other news, on Yahoo search, I'm number 180. bottom of page 9. Wooga.

December 18, 2003

I wouldn't call it smart...

So on the way home from work yesterday, Im talking to a friend of mine, and they relate to me their story from the previous day...

Apparently, this person wasn't feeling real well before work Tuesday morning, so they had the apparent foresight to bring a towel with them. As soon as I heard 'towel' I instantly started thinking of Hitchhiker's Guide. Anyway, not feeling well, but being a good trooper, they grab a towel and head to work. On the way to work, they decide it's not going to happen, and they turn around to head home. Gridlock being what it is, though, in major metropolitan cities, they did not get very far, and before long the queasiness got the best of them, and they threw up in the car. Right into the towel.

Their statement to me was (quite proudly) "Now, wasnt I smart to bring the towel?" To which I could only reply "Hell NO! Smart would have been staying at home if you are feeling so nauseated that you even *think* you would need a towel, or bucket, or fucking have to roll down the window. Stay home."

Am I right? Or is this person wiser than I want to give credit for?

In other news, Return of the King kicked ass. Best battle scenes ever. Not for those afflicted with Arachnaphobia. Maybe more later. Still assimilating.

Walk this way

I work for a small company. Less than 100 people in this building. So, we don't have actual security dudes. Security of a different kind is in the domain of the IT department, of which I compose 1/4. But apparently distinction is close enough that when someone gets terminated at lunchtime, a member of my group gets to watch them pack their shit, lock them out of their PC, and walk them outside. That was one of my duties today. Woohoo.

In other work news, we've been without email for 26 hours and counting. I do work IT, but fortunately, I don't handle the email.


Well, I'm finally listed at dfwblogs. It only took like 2 months.

December 19, 2003

Christmas Vacation incoming

Ninsi and I are heading up to Oklahoma tomorrow. It is easily the singular most exciting place in the Sol system. We'll be gone for a full week, so updates will be sporadic at best.

There is a new telescope in the sky this morning, and that's always wicked exciting. With a little luck, maybe it will spot some little green men. But if not, you can go see some origami that will make you say 'holy shit!'.

And finally, at least for now as I'm sure I'll blog more later, in the spirit of Christmas - a http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm.

In other news, my work email is functional again.

Does a toga count?

I think this is a swimmingly good idea for a party. So we need to find people who will attend, or find someone hosting one that will let us attend. Here's the link again, read the cartoon.

I'm also still waiting to be contacted by hot Dutch femmes. I also would like redheads from South Africa, or Ireland. Actually, since the Dutch aren't cooperating, any contact by hot women from any Scandinavian country would be fine. So, again, that's Scandinavians, South Africans, and the Irish. Can also accept New Zealanders and Australians.

Continue reading "Does a toga count?" »

December 29, 2003

It's over already?

It's been over a week since I've been at work. Had quite a nice Christmas, thanks for asking. I got up and dressed this morning, and was ready to go to work, but just couldn't motivate myself to do. Just sat around looking for anything else to do. I'm here now, and suddenly have a ton to do.

Tracy and I drove to Tulsa for the holidays. Roughly 300 miles. While we were so far from home, we managed to have dinner with our roommate. We got back to Irving on Saturday, and on Sunday, since we were home again, we managed to have dinner with our friends that normally live 300 and 1200 miles away. Go figure.

Motivation today is severly lacking. Go pretend this blog is supremely entertaining.

December 30, 2003

Im old

A friend of mine from high school was in town recently, and we all managed to get together and hang out for a day or so. She brought her new boy-toy guy. Her boyfriend is a full decade younger than me. I used to have problems relating to my girlfriend's friends because they were 5 years younger than me. Im better about that now, but I still dont see how in the world you are supposed to manage a decade.

Still can't get back into the work groove yet. Got plenty to do though. I'll work on it later. Just wasting away the hours now until Wednesday. Not sure exactly what I'll be doing; maybe sitting at home, maybe going downtown clubbing. Either way, I dont expect to be lucid. The Friday off to Shreveport for gambling. Tracy seems to think we'll get there Friday and spend Saturday gambling. I suspect we'll get there and gamble for a while, and if we have any money left over, we'll do it some more on Saturday. ;)

Ive been in a real mood to play cards/gamble lately. Looking at poker tables and chips online. Might buy some chips, but got no place for a table. What would be really nice is a couple other regular people that would like to play poker a couple times a month. $5 buy-in. Nothing major. Maybe $15-20 if it was once a month or so. So, yeah, anyway, looking for regular poker buddies in Dallas.

In other news, Black People Love Us...

stop moving

fixed the link to furious jessy on both notival and ninsianna, so it no longer points to the old place. my diligence in link maintenance is lacking.

December 31, 2003

Slipping into the future

End of year. Wooga. Ive been trying to help FuriousJessy get her blog set up using MT all morning, and it's just not been cooperative. Finally decided to let it rest a few minutes and blog myself. Some webhosts need to get their shit together a little better. In the meantime, Im doing a format on a disk here at work and it's an hour into and about half done. So it looks like I still have time to kill.

Since it's end of month, I'll regale the pertinent stats for December to you all as of 5 minutes ago...

713 Unique visitors sucked up 198M of bandwidth.
I had 5 times Fewer visitors last month, but more bandwidth usage.

Internationally, I had 95 hits from the Netherlands (not unique) and 107 from Britain. But the Dutch looked at more pages. Im still waiting to be contacted by the hot Dutch girls though.

353 - Google hits. (last checked, eric owens was on page 15 of google)
99 - Jeeves hits

Amy won the 'link to me' war with 267.
Channel-Zero clocked in second at 155
Furious Jessy was a split up 125
Primussucks.com had 113. Odd, because I never knew about the page til I saw the hits.

I also got linked from http://paris-hilton-video.blogspot.com 9 times, and http://www.sexrabbit.de 2 times. Don't ask me how, I dont know.

And finally, the 'how did random people find me' section. Under what search phrases did Notival.com come up?
"Tequila Cat" was far and away the winner with 248 total. of the 117 other phrases searched on, most were variations on the tequila cat theme. Here's what they were looking for.
After the cat, the interesting searches were
"uterus upside down"
"plumbers ass pic"
"toga girls"
"penis cross section"
"stuft animal frogs"
"i am spiderman"
and finally...
"paris hilton sleeps with arkansas high school boy"

Have a safe New Year's everyone. Looks like I'll be going home around 1 or so since not to many are here today.

About December 2003

This page contains all entries posted to Notival in December 2003. They are listed from oldest to newest.

November 2003 is the previous archive.

January 2004 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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