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My turd-ass

Okay, so I just finished watching 'Confessions of a Dangerous Mind' and finished reading 'The Naked Sun' about the same time, when I wander back to my bedroom and notice much to my glee that I have a voicemail! Who ever could it be??? With great anticipation I punch the numbers and am rewarded with a twenty-two second outburst that leaves me mucho confused. I have transcribed it verbatim as follows:

"Okay you little turd, I'm comming out there December the 24th.
Gonna land at two something. I'll have your little turd-ass whipped by 4 o'clock.
You better call me! Answer the phone! heh heh heh heh heh..."

My first thought was that it was my biological father with whom I have had zero contact in over 7 years. The last time we spoke over the phone, we basically argued. I'm fairly sure that it was not him, nor any member of my family. Judging from the accent though, I'd be willing to bet that the leaver of the message is a Nascar fan. And possibly drunk to boot. (yes, i know, drunk nascar fan is redundant).

Time of message, 9:17 pm. Reverse lookup on the number returned nothing, so I dont even know from what state my turd-ass is going to be receiving its whipping. It was a 256 area code though. If I hear anything from this admirer again, I'll be sure to let everyone know.


Comments (3)


You might not want to post thier number on the web. Why don't you just call them?

Nah, if it really bothered me, I'd call them, as is, it's just funny. But your probably right about the phone number. I'll remove it.


256 is an Alabama area code. If you fwd me the prefix I can find out which wireless company the phone is on, but I think that's as much as I can do for you. That message is the funniest one I've ever heard.


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