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Jesus is a woman

Long day, late lunch.
I went to KFC for lunch, and think I thoroughly consternated an old woman. I drove up just before her, walked through the doors just before her (though I did hold them open) and got in line right in front of her. The line consisted of the two of us. I ordered a two breast combo, crispy. When it was her turn, she ordered three crispy breasts to go. The cashier girl had to tell her it would be another 20 minutes before they had that many again. If I had let her in line before me, she would have got her three, but I would not have got my two. The old woman left in a minor huff. Who's to blame? The old woman for being too slow, me for ordering two breasts, or KFC for not being prepared to serve up 2.5 chicken's worth of parts at 1:15 in the afternoon? I'm pretty sure it's not me.

Another thing I have noticed when I go to KFC concerns their drink cups. They sell like kiddie, regular, and large. All pretty standard. And then they have this 1/2 gallon 'Mega-Jug' or something. It's insane huge. A full 64 ounces, and only about $0.20 more than large. I always thought it was dumb, but figured that maybe when you buy a bucket o chicken for the chillens, you get the 1/2 gallon mega-jug to drink. Except that I also noticed they sold a lid for it that only had room for one straw. Today, there was a trio sitting a couple tables over. A man, a large, large, large, fairly big woman, and a child. The child had a kiddie cup, the man a regular, and the woman had the Mega-Jug all to her lonesome. It takes up half the table. I couldn't believe it. I had to avert my eyes from the carnage and eat my ill-gotten crispy chicken breasts.

But I guess it was all okay because they said grace before starting to eat, and that brings up the final point of what was not meant to be, but has become, an extended KFC entry: As I rose to throw away my tray, I noticed on my receipt that my cashier had been none other than Jesus, who apparently, has a vagina.

Hopefully tomorrow, I will be able to show you all a picture of why Satan rules my door.

Comments (3)

Wonder when KFC is going to start taking supersize sodas off their menus?


hehe...phlome steals chicken from old ladies...


that was a minute and half i'll never get back


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