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May 2004 Archives

May 1, 2004

Satan Rules

As I promised earlier in the week, I shall now relate the tale of why, seemingly, Satan Rules. I will be brief.

I dislike Post-It Notes. No real good reason. I do think they are messy and unorganized. I much prefer a single notepad with which I can keep all my notes in one place. The guy in the office next to me (let's call him Trucker) is well aware of this particular quirk of mine.

On Wednesday, I was in and out of my office all day, never had a chance to close the door. Thursday though, I had to spend some time in an online meeting. So, about 9 am, I close my door and am greeted by this on the backside of my door. I about fell out of my chair laughing. It was done completely in post-it notes. It is still there, actually.

What I personally find most amusing, is that this was done on Tuesday night, but since I never closed my door on Wednesday, I did not see it. Trucker spent all Wednesday waiting for something from me to acknowledge it, and thought that I was just blowing him off on the whole thing. Im leaving it up for a while.

Anyway, that is why Satan Rules...my door at least.

May 3, 2004

Numbuh Four = The Battler

Numbuh Four is from a cartoon that I've seen only part of, one time, so I do not know much about it. I should probably watch more cartoons. It wouldn't hurt me. Or my work, much.

Ive been poor about updating lately. But so has the Ryan's next door, and being as their sign serves as my inspiration, I really dont think that I can be blamed a whole lot. Had a most relaxing weekend. Ninsi and I had nothing at all that we absolutely had to do, so we just messed around most of the time. Didn't even wake up Sunday until well after noon. I also managed to get her to go the the 9-hole Par 3 course for a little bit yesterday evening. Not to play or anything, but just to walk around with me so that we could be outside and enjoy the great weather.

Sunday was a beautiful day. Saturday was rather dreary and cool. Ninsi would probably say that Saturday was frigid. She's wrong that way.

In other news, Laser Vision.

May 4, 2004


Notival.com is mine for another year. It would almost be worth it to try to just register it for life. I think you can do that for a few hundred dollars. But I dont have the few hundred dollars to spare, and really, I dont know that I'll want it at all even in two years. Much less another fifty. Maybe if I trademark the name first, then even if someone squatted it, Id have recourse to get it back.

Anyway, not much to tell. Ninsi and I watched "Dancing at the Blue Iguana" last night. It's got Darryl Hannah and Jennifer Tilly as strippers. That's the only reason we even wanted to see it. And really, that wasn't enough. Nothing happened in the movie. No real drama, no plot complications, no climax. In short, don't bother with it. Though Darryl Hannah does play a ditz very well.

In other news, it seems that Larry Wachowski, co-creator of the Matrix movies, is planning to get a sex-change operation. To quote Morpheus, and the article I read... "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path."

May 5, 2004

Looks like it's gonna be a hot day today

Those were the words spoke by some porcupine in a cartoon I saw a few eons ago. This porcupine taught itself to speak english, and put on a little raincoat, and walked around on its hind legs. And it would say "Looks like its gonna be a hot day today", even on days that it was snowing. Eventually, said porcupine got a 'porcupine crossing' sign put up to help his less articulate brethren cross the road without getting squishified.

I remember it today, because I just checked the weather, and it is scheduled to top 80 today, and 90 in less than a week. The horizon is starting to get that slightly hazy look that speaks of rising temperatures and squelching heat.

Last night, I took the cover off the pool. It was green. The cover, I mean. So is the pool water. It will be blue soon. Probably over the weekend.

Going to Oklahoma for the weekend to hang with the squid. She wants to see 'Mean Girls.' I want to see 'Van Helsing.' I may have to opt for a double feature. le sigh.

May 6, 2004


It seems that my less than timely postings are starting to rip apart the very fabric of the blog continuum. Were I mere mortal, violating such a fundamental law would surely have long ago resulted in ultimate blog entropy with the whole thing collapsing in upon itself.

Which brings up another question: if your future self came back to you and told you that you have to do this really weird thing, would you? Let's just assume that you believe it is your future self because they know some stupid little secret about how you really did want to fuck your fourth grade teacher or whatever and can prove they are you. But say they tell you "Look, trust me on this one. If you go to work today wearing no pants, then twelve years from now you'll get to have sex with this incredibly hot girl." Would you? Or are you so uppity that you dont go pantsless for anything less than saving the world?

I've yet to meet my future self, except for waking up every day and looking into the mirror and saying 'Hey now...' Personally, I think Id want to see a picture, or hologram, of the girl.

May 7, 2004

mama's day

Off to Oklahoma today to spend the weekend with the squid. Ninsi is off to San Antonio to spend the weekend with her mom.

Everyone have a good weekend, and give your mom my love.

May 10, 2004

Ricochet = The Pinball

Ahh, back from OK for a while again. Spent the weekend with the squid, got to visit mom for Mother's Day, and have dinner with my dad since it was his birthday. Lots of normal family stuff. Saw 'Mean Girls,' but not 'Van Helsing.'

The 'Service Engine Soon' light came on in my car yesterday though, and that was disturbing. It was not long after I'd left my mom's. So, after I dropped off the squid, I read through the owner's manual. It wasn't real helpful, but basically said it was an Emissions issue, and could be caused by any number of things. Possibly hardware, but it was also possible I was just low on gas, used a lower quality gas on last fill up, or just didn't screw the gas-cap on right last time. Suggestions were to check the cap, get my usual gas, and take it to the shop if the light stayed on. It also said it would take a few driving trips for it to go off even if any of the above fixed it. So I filled up and poured some STP gas treatment in along with. The light stayed on all the way to Dallas, so I figured Id have to take it in, but the morning, on the way to work, it went off. go figure.

Thanks to Ninsi, I had pizza for breakfast.

May 11, 2004

Where's Neko?

Haven't seen Miss Neko in almost a week now. Bowie overload, maybe?

The Squid, who is all of ten years old, is now signed up on MSN messenger. Of course, so is my mother. I'm not sure which is the more surprising.

A friend of ours, Donut, likes to state that he will not live to grow old. When the time is right, he plans to club a baby seal to death, lather himself with it's bloody remains, and then, while the scent of baby seal is still fresh, jump in the waters so that he can be attacked, and eaten by killer whales. It's one way to go, and if he actually manages it, I'll be duly impressed. I'm not sure people should just start offing themselves randomly, but if someone feels it is time, then Im all about facilitating it. Anyway, the reason I mention this is because I read a blurb this morning about a man that commited suicide by jumping into a lion's den at a zoo. The lions mostly ignored him, but he apparently kept taunting them until the lioness lashed out and broke his neck. Instant death. It was over two years ago, I can't believe I haven't heard about this story before. Here is something on it.

Ryan's needs to get on the ball. According to their sign, you can still win a gift basket for Mother's Day. I doubt they are advertising a year early.

Speaking of fucker's that need to get on the ball: UPS. A package was shipped out Friday to me from OH. If it was via US Postal, it would have arrived yesterday, but with UPS it is still sitting in IL. Fuckers haven't even scanned it today. Without online tracking, I wouldn't know this much, so they have only themselves to blame.

May 12, 2004

and the people are but players

Ryan's finally changed their sign. "Steak shrimp catfish every friday after 4pm". That sucks. That's not interesting at all.

I was mentioning to Ninsi yesterday that 'birders' are weird. They make lists of everything birdy. Like a list of birds they see/hear at work. List of birds seen/heard in the front yard. List of birds they see/hear on TV shows, or while pooping, or shoveling the snow, or at the kids foosball practice. Whatever. They also watch golf on TV so they can make a list of the birds they hear there. Sometimes the networks put food out with microphones so the birds will come near and be heard. Apparently, a couple years back, some birders got in a rile because while watching golf, they were hearing birdsounds that were out of place for the location/season of the match. NBC was playing taped bird sounds and got nailed by these freaks. Some were pretty upset. You know why? It messed up their fucking 'bird sounds heard while watching golf' list. I kid you not.

Ever have those times when you dont want to be where you are? And dont have anywhere you want to be, but just want to be 'nowhere?' Some place completely remote, but not necessarily uninhabited. Just out of touch. No phones, no email, no pdas. Just you, and maybe a dog.

May 13, 2004


nuf said.

May 14, 2004

making headway

The heads were a huge hit. Trucker will probably be the receiver and giver of head jokes for a day or two, then things will settle back to normal. Likely with heads popping up in unexpected places every few weeks. Special thanks to Neko for pointing the heads out in the first place. And to Ninsi and Zero for their assistance in setting it all up.

Getting back to business, not much else going on. Poker tonight, should be something special.

The NCAA did a study, and found what they felt was a surprising number of college athletes are betting on their sport, and sometimes taking money to throw a game. One football player took $400 to intentionally fumble a ball. There are so many things wrong with that, I can't even get started.

In a modern take on The Outsiders, Garland gangs used the internet to plan a rumble...

May 17, 2004

Bunny Bravo = The Big Momma

Friday night, I took it all home. It took us less than four hours to go from eight people to one. Usually, when we play poker, we'll go for 5-7 hours sometimes. But Friday, we started just after 8 pm, and at the stroke of midnight, the last cards were turned, and I pulled in all the remaining chips. Donut had fallen. A person dropped about every half hour. With No-Limit, people go down hard and fast. I felt like it was a pretty odd poker night for myself. I started out doing well, then went into a slump and lost a lot, then got it all back. I never had a single set of pocket pairs all night, but somehow managed to pull 3 flushes and a straight out.

While I was busy with that, Ninsi futzed her site up. And mostly fixed it.

Saturday, Zero and I played some golf. Zero had one of his worst outings ever, I had one of my better. It is sad that one of my best days of golf ever is still above a 110. Ninsi and I went out Saturday night, and didnt go to bed until almost 6 am, so we spent a lot of Sunday just laying around.

I'll let her tell you about Nine Dead Gay Guys.

May 18, 2004

tea time

I am drinking a great deal of tea these days. For the past fortnight or so, I have been drinking very little soda. Like maybe just once or twice a week, instead of the daily dose of Dr Pepper to which I am accustomed. I am filling this void with tea. Regular lipton tea. Quite a bit of it. 2-3 times as much tea as Dr Pepper.

I also need to make a tee-time for the last municipal course in Dallas that Zero and I have not yet played. With the exception of the one that is fairly near the house, they all seem to be real close to downtown Dallas. Next time, we may try looking at the Arlington courses, since they would be every bit as close, and cheaper too. Speaking of golf, someone should buy me these shoes. I'd never buy them myself since I would wear them rather infrequently, but they'd be a damn spot nicer than any other shoes I might wear to the course.

Not much else going on today. Going to help Ninsi get her site cleaned up a little more, since it seems to be causing some people physical pain. Other than that, it's all slow.

May 19, 2004

auto callback busy

If it wasn't partly cloudy, I think I would have to be outside. But with the clouds out, I can be okay inside. Someone told me today that I was getting dark. That's not something Im really going for, so I need to start either wearing long sleeves all the time, or getting some serious sunblock on my face and arms. If I take my shirt off though, I produce my own luminescence.

KFC has restructured their menu. This basically means that you pay more now. bastards. Oh, and it's Kentucky Fried Chicken. That's what it did, does, and always will stand for. this kitchen fresh chicken malarky is just that. malarky.

I think it is time for Satan to stop Ruling my door. I need to get a lifesize poster there instead. Maybe of Ninsi, or Daniela Amavia. Whichever.

In other news, I dont think so.

May 20, 2004

Surely you jest...

My girlfriend, the lovely and talented, Ninsi, does on occassion doubt my greatness. I continually furnish her with new examples of my genius on things such as Deet, and Druthers, and everything in between and outside of those. Im not an evil genious, mind you, but one can only take so much foolish mockery. If it continues, there will be comeuppance. Oh yes, I said 'comeuppance.'

Yesterday, Notival was 83% good, I was told I was geting a tan, and I didn't prove to be all that great a enemy to the Church. Taken separately, these things mean little. Together, they point to great hooliganism to be afoot.

And the answer to the question is No.

May 21, 2004

Demon spawn are more fun

Or is it "Demon spawn is more fun?" Whatever. So last night, Im in bed, reading, and I hear the unmistakable sound of a conversation being initiated via MSN on my PC. I trundle over and take a look. It's my mom. She's not happy with her current ISP and wants to know why it cuts her off at 10 minutes, and why she has a thing telling her she has Yahoo mail. I do what I can, and then she says she's off to bed. So I go back to bed and start reading some more.

Ten minutes later, another converastion pops up, and it's mom again. I dont remember it exactly, but it went more-or-less like this...
Mom says: "What is this thing on my computer that says Atheist?"
Me says: "What do you mean 'thing on your computer?'"
Mom says: "in places ive been, ninsianna or something like that"
Mom says: "I dont want anything like that on my computer for someone to see"

I let my girlfriend read it, and she is properly amused by it. I explain to her to her how she can clear her history and go back to reading. Five minutes later, she says she can't find a delete, and I'll have to do it when next Im at her house. I don't bother going back to bed, I just sit in the chair and read now, just in case. But this appears to have been the last message.

For those not in the know, and wondering why it's all very amusing, go to Ninsi's page. I sometimes read blogs from my mom's PC when Im there. Im sure this whole thing will only eventually only cultivate Ninsi's fear that my mom doesn't like her.

In other news, about a month and a half ago, the head of Russian's Federal Security Service (formerly the KGB) was named head of the Russian Volleyball Association.

wang-ray vision

The Furious One saw wang today in her belly. Im very pleased that she sees it. I do not.

The best I can get from the ultrasound is a mummified monkey head. A co-worker saw an elephant. The word 'rorschach' came up at least twice. I concluded that I just dont have the proper 'wang-ray vision' to see prenatal wang. It is something possessed by mothers, and ultrasound doctors. It may be an ability akin to a super-power that lets it's wielders know wang through any medium, I do not know.

Happy fish-wang to Jess though.

May 23, 2004

Gringo Dancer

Zero, Ninsi, and I went to the horse races yesterday. We live real close to the track, so I'm surprised we haven't been before. Anyway, to make the long of it, short, we can't pick the ponies. The taletell race: Zero and I had both picked the longshot - Gringo Dancer -to show. About 50:1 odds. Ninsi had picked her standard #4. The race starts! Both horses start out real well, but are soon lost in the pack. We wait, we watch, we wait... As the get in front of us, and cross the line, we can't make out where in the pack they are, which is not surprising, because #4 came in dead last, several lengths behind the pack. Ninsi, frustrated at it's poor showing, turns and says "It came in dead last." A second or two after she says this, I say "No, no it didn't", because my horse (and Zero's) is just now crossing the line. He was so far behind, he wasn't even in sight of the rest of the horses. We're talking like 6-7 seconds out of the running. Goddamned Gringo Dancer.

May 24, 2004

Billy = the Dunce

As I've already posted about it, we won't mention the races, or Gringo Dancer again. Ever.

The rest of the weekend was fairly relaxing. Played some Putt-putt after dinner on Saturday with Zero, Ninsi, and Bunny, watched The Princess Bride until it was really too late, and finally went to bed.

Zero and I played golf on Sunday, and as always, my score can be found on the left sidebar. Played almost the same as last week, slightly worse for both of us. This was the third south Dallas course that we've played, and on each one, we have been treated to the sights or sounds of wildlife. At Stevens, we heard what I am pretty sure was a peacock. At Keeton a couple weeks later there was a coyote that we saw a couple of times ranging across the fairways. And yesterday, at Tenison, there was what I believe to be a Lynx, (carrying a not-quite-dead squirrel by the head) trotting along the fairway. It was on the other side of our fairway and kept about as close an eye on us, as we it.

It's almost as good as the alligator that crossed my fairway in Florida one day a couple years ago.

May 25, 2004


Very busy at work this week. Not really much time to blog, but I'll do what I can.

I heard a new word today. "slumpbuster". I've never heard it before, but it is pretty obvious what it means. The guy on the radio was recounting a time that he was DJing at 2am and some girl called up asking to play some Zepplin. He did, and also managed to talk the girl into coming up to the station at 2 in the morning. He was watching from the rooftop and saw her as she approached. Describing her first as a 'before' person from the show "The Swan" and then a couple sentances later, or perhaps the sidekick said it, as a "slumpbuster." The phrase made me laugh, and I had to share.

(for the truly naive, a slumpbuster would be the 'cow', 'whale', 'dog', 'troll', or other that you sleep with just to get out of the desert...)

May 26, 2004

Wherefore what do

My mother finally figured out that Ninsi's website belonged to my girlfriend. She also said she would be reading it now that she has found it. I may have to see about blocking her ISP.

Aww, I seem to have missed a wreck. I see a truck stopped in the street, and there is a yellow car that looksl ike it pulled partway into the Ryan's. I can see the ass end of the car, and it's all smashed up.

Oh! some chick is bitching out some guy. Thgought she was going to slap him for a sec. Now she's moved out of my line of sight.

The truck is still in the middle of the access road though. It looks like he was moving stuff. Maybe his stuff. Maybe her stuff. There's pieces of stuff in the road. And a lot of stuff still in the truck. Of course, the pieces in the road could have come from her car, but I think not. At first I thought he was a carpet guy, because there is like a roll of carpet or something in the truck, but the more I look, it looks like he was moving. There's like a small bookcase and other random stuff. Hard to tell really. Looks like stufff was wrapped up in the carpet.

Well, he's picked up the bigger stuff and is moving his truck (pushing) it into the Ryan's lot now. Not sure how much damage was done to it, not that I can really see, but if he's pushing it, I guess he did something.

Oh well, it's all over now but the police report. *update* Motorcycle cop arrived pretty quick. Now there's a squad car. And the little EMT firetruck, and here cumms the regular fire truck... It's a full party. *update number 2* Now there's two squad cars, and some random car just stopped nearby and a woman got out and sprinted to the Ryan's parking lot while her guy wandered over in a more passive fashion. Really wish I could see around the Ryan's. That's where the action is now.

May 27, 2004

May I have another?

Our email server crashed last night. It took a couple network drives with it. That sums up my day.

About May 2004

This page contains all entries posted to Notival in May 2004. They are listed from oldest to newest.

April 2004 is the previous archive.

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