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Onions and Red Pee

We've all read Zero's account of his first session of chemotherapy yesterday. It was all that and more. Personally, I think he failed to touch on a few of the more significant points though. So, if you will, allow me to elucidate...

First off, best quote heard during infusion: "... well, she gained 260 pounds and couldn't waddle herself down to the dock then."

The Infusion room is where chemo is done. They have 16 recliners in there with the IV stand next to each. Zero sat in one and there he stayed for the next 9 hours. Except for the occassional pee break. As big a deal as they made about his pee, I'm surprised he didn't mention it himself. By the end of the day, I think everyone in the room knew that Zero was going to have red pee, because they made a point to mention it several times. It was a direct result of getting a red drug injected straight into his veins. Rather looked like Kool-aid. So, anyway, he had some red pee, which I think inflicts 2d6 critical damage to Broo.

Onions. No onions allowed in the Infusion room. Period. If they see you with an onion, or with food that contains an onion, or possibly even if you smelled like you had an onion for lunch, they would make you leave. They had a sign posted about it and everything.

Side effects can be funny. Zero received several pieces of paper telling about the drugs he was about to receive, and listing all the possible side effects. Some things get listed as a side effect because one person, one time, said "I think this drug is making *this* happen." What is *this*? Insert 'droopy eyelids', 'bed wetting', and 'unconsciousness'. There were others of course such as hallucinations, double vision, and the inability to walk straight, but the droopy eyelids and possible bed wetting are the best.

And finally, I learned something yesterday. When you get cancer, you get a lot of literature. I was thumbing through one of the books he received (partially illustrated, but we'll not dwell there even though it was a pr0n book), and came across a chart. At the top, it listed possible effects of various procedures, such as 'fatigue', 'nausea', 'infertility', and a few others. Down the side, it had the procedure, such as Chemotherapy, Orchiectomy (testicle removal), and Penectomy (Yes, it is what it sounds like, but I wont type it because I dont want that much pr0n spam right off). Anyway, under Single Orchiectomy, infertility was a 'R' for Rarely. Under Dual Orchiectomy, it was 'A' for Always. That makes sense. But what boggled me then, as now, was under total Penectomy, Infertility is merely a 'U' for Usually. Which if you think real hard (and you have to think hard because it isn't exacly fun to think about at all) you can understand how it might still be possible, but the mind does nonetheless still boggle at the thought of having no thing, but still being fertile.

And that kids, is what I learned yesterday.

Comments (2)

Why onions? Presumably it's the smell, but what if one of your fellow chemo-sabies was flatulent? Would they be shunned? Or even if they emitted some strong body odor, or perfume?

This level of detail is what I was trying to inquire about. Different people pick up on different things. Different perspectives, different details.

certain meds are explosive in the presence of onion-based particulate matter.

anyone who's ever taken Dristan and then ate at White Castle will know exactly what I'm talking about.



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