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"This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation."

This is Ninsi guest blogging due to my blog still being out of commission.

We've got 8 days 'til the wedding. And I'm seriously losing sleep over it, or at least having very restless sleep. I've been going to bed earlier and earlier every night, and I wake up every morning less and less refreshed.

Stuff I'm worrying about:
Will there be enough time for everyone to get their hair/make-up done?
How am I getting to the wedding?
What am I forgetting?
How can I be sure everything goes as planned?
I'm the only one who knows what's going on the day of, my bridesmaids won't be getting in town until an hour before the rehearsal, assuming they actually leave on time, they can't decide on how their hair will be done, despite me telling them how I want it done - I don’t want to turn into bridezilla, but how can I be sure the whole thing doesn't turn into a huge joke of a fiasco.
I know stuff will go wrong. I know it wont' be perfect. But my concern is that it will be complete chaos with no one knowing what's going on.

On top of that the weather man is getting increasingly more adamant about it raining on Sat. 60% chance now.

We do have a back up plan, and in reality, the back up plan will make things simpler, since there will be no transporting btwn ceremony and reception sites, and we'll have an extra hour to get everything ready.

I just feel so not prepared, I know I'm forgetting about a million things.

I still need to make the final payments on the cake, caterer and chairs. And I know I'm forgetting something else. And I just don't feel sure that someone will tell me if I've forgotten something. I just feel it all sitting on my shoulders and it's weighing me down. My shoulders and back hurt almost constantly from the stress. The pain in my left shoulder sometimes runs straight up and down my spite, into my head, and down my left arm. Every now and then someone will come up behind me and squeeze my shoulders, and I want to just beg them not to stop.

I do have a massage scheduled for Friday, but I'm not sure if I can make it that long, or if it will even do me any good, because I'll be spending the day with my mom, who is notorious for adding more stress.

On top of all this mess my bachelorette party is stressing me out. No one who's coming knows anyone else who is coming very well at all. At most they've met once or twice (except bunny and chicken). Yesterday I was ready to call the night off because I've been too worried about people enjoying themselves.

I'm able to put off most of the stress about the honeymoon off until after the wedding, I've got 2 weeks to worry about it then. But I hate that all I want is for everything just to be over with. I'm not looking forward to anything anymore.

Comments (5)

jess:

Try and look at it this way: In the end, you're going to be standing there and they're going to play the wedding march, you're going to start walking, and everything you just said? You will forget about it from that point on. It'll be ok.

Yes, but btwn now and then, it's just worry. And for some reason I can't just let it go. I've tried - I say to myself "self, either it will work out or it won't, in the end you have no control over the ultimate outcome - it's just one day, it'll come, it'll go, and then comes the happily ever after."

But self just won't listen!

Care:

You will be the only person who will know what went perfectly & what didn't. It's impossible to get passed wanting it to be perfect. When the day finally arrives your singular thought will be that everyone you love is here to celebrate one of the happiest days of your life with you & Eric. It will be beautiful & will be perfect & that's what matters!

I'm a bit surprised no one has commented on the quote. But then I'm not sure that anyone besides Neko has seen the movie.

Katie:

Keep your chin up. Things have this amazing way of falling into place. Enjoy your last week single :), put a little faith into your bridesmaids. Most of all remember why it is that you are putting yourself through all of this - to marry your true love. Try to get some perspective. (((((Hugs)))))) Also, you are more than welcome to call me if there is anything that I can do before Saturday. I'll be in town on Friday night - so call me ok?

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 24, 2006 9:14 AM.

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